25. I have been volunteer work to at least 8 different places

25. I have been volunteer work to at least 8 different places.

“What you and your friends just did here was not polite.”

“No, don’t listen to her! She’s just a crazy old woman. You guys did a fine job of cheering us up.”

“What do you mean I’m crazy? No, come here you and listen to me…”

           I found myself stuck between these two groups of elderly women who were all glaring at each other. One group of women kept on holding on to my hand preventing me from going to the other group and the other group of women were calling names, even using swear words. The atmosphere inside the room had instantly chilled and my friends were looking towards me cautiously asking with their eyes what was wrong. However, to their inquiring looks I had no choice but to shrug my shoulders and look away. Honestly, it was puzzling how everything had suddenly gone so wrong.

           I and my friends had really looked forward to that day of volunteer work at the institution for the aged. Two days ago, we had gone to meet the social worker to ask her whether we could prepare a few special events for the elderly to cheer them up rather than just routinely cleaning their rooms or walking with them around the institution. We ambitiously planned the day purchasing snacks and drinks that the elderly may like, choosing and memorizing old songs that we could sing together using the institution’s Karaoke machine and drawing a giant board for a game of “yut” (a Korean traditional game similar to a dice game) that all the elderly could enjoy together.

           Everything went smoothly at first. Most of the people we knew at least their names and had talked with them a few times. There were still some people that we hadn’t met before but the social worker assured us that they all enjoyed singing and playing games. We started by introducing ourselves by singing a children’s song and thankfully the elderly enjoyed our short little show and showed their appreciation by enthusiastically clapping along to our song.    

           Encouraged, we moved on to the game of “yut.” Unfortunately, playing the game of “yut” was more problematic than we had every imagined. In our excitement in preparing an event for the elderly we had failed to consider that some of the elderly had a mild case of dementia and that they would think that it was their turn even when it wasn’t. This confusion of turns frustrated not only the elderly with dementia but also annoyed the other people and the game ended on an unfavorable note. Feeling a little awkward we hurriedly moved on to the next event: the Karaoke.

           As the social worker had assured us, the elderly people thankfully seemed to enjoy the Karaoke even singing or clapping along when somebody else was singing. One senior even got up and started to dance to the music whirling me and friends around with his hands. The snacks that we had prepared were long gone and content to see the elderly people enjoying themselves we started to wrap up the event going around picking up the garbage and making small talk with the elders.

           It was during this time that one of the elderly women pulled me to a chair next to her and gently reproached me that dancing with the senior and singing together had been a rude thing to do and that we shouldn’t do it again. I instantly understood what she meant. To her, a young girl singing and dancing freely with an elderly man could have seemed disrespectful and impolite. I began to apologize and the elderly women just patted my hand and the women surrounding her smiled at me as well. Feeling relieved I busily moved around cleaning the room when another group of ladies pulled me to their group and asked me what the other women had said. I simply told them that it wasn’t anything serious but they had already heard and was insistent on telling me that they had enjoyed themselves and that those women over there were just a little out of their minds.

           It turned out that these two groups of women didn’t get along well in the first place, and their aggregated feelings of antipathy towards each other had erupted when one group didn’t respect the opinion of the other and started saying bad things about each other. I found myself caught in the middle of this fight, trying my best to pry myself from the hands of an elderly woman and to talk with both sides and make peace. I admitted that we were imprudent to prepare an event that might seem impolite to some people. At the same time I asked for their generous understanding of the fact that we were still quite young and prone to make mistakes. I emphasized that no feelings had been hurt and that what made me sadder was that the women were fighting over something that we had obviously done wrong.

           On my way back from the institution I sat down on the subway and quietly thought over what had happened today. Just a few hours ago I and my friends we had been so excited about the event that we had planned, but in the end nothing had turned out as we had hoped. The “yut” game had come to nothing and two groups of elderly women had fought each other because one had wanted to admonish us for being impolite while the other had wanted to console us by saying that they had enjoyed themselves. In the end, I realized that this volunteer work hadn’t really been for the elders in the institution. We had deceived ourselves into thinking that we were doing something worthwhile for these people, but had just planned an event that people our age would have enjoyed.

           Since this was the case, we had gone to the institution thinking that we will cheer the elders up but returned from the institution having learned many valuables lessons from them. Even though we had been imprudent and prepared an event unsuitable to elders, they had pretended to like it and only in the end did some people gently scold us. Even then, some people had wished to defend us and justify our actions by saying that they had enjoyed themselves. The special event hadn’t really been for the elders. It had been an event for us where we truly understood the meaning of what volunteer work is. It isn’t forcing upon other people our enjoyments and our ways of life but it is trying our best to fully understand their ways of life. This was the valuable lesson that the elders gave to us. 

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Honestly I don't really like it....

But it was a first attempt :)